pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
