Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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