This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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