Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
