Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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