so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
