i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
