you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
