i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
