were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
