One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
