DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize