My room smells like vodka and shame
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
