So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
