Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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