No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
