I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
