We're like a lot better than the average bears
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
