I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think your dad took our porno
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize