If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
