genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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