Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
