If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
