Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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