Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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