we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
