your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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