in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
