community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
