it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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