so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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