yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Everything about him screamed your future.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
