i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
