Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
