im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
