I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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