I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
