Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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