bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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