I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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