tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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