Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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