this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
