I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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