Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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