I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
