your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
