I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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