He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
how does that bad decision feel?
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