Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
