yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
