Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
