she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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