thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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