after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
