So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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