i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
