Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
