Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
