why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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