smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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