in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
