we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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