I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
