ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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