I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
